Driving is one thing where I felt my confidence is plummeting recently. I thought, let me write my fears down and take them from my mind to paper, to see more clearly. This is how it flowed…

I am becoming tensed and stiff, and sometimes very scary too

during my drive to Dallas (Dallas is about 350 miles from my place)

to pass through trucks (I feel breathless to be between trucks. And I have to pass them)

in restricted roads with enclosure on one side or both sides…

over flyovers, steep roads

under bridges (dark)

Looking back,

I was never a confident driver, but I do enjoy and do just fine normally.

I have trouble with sense of direction. Now no worries on it, as we have smart phones!!

driving to new places

driving during night time

I guess part of it could be because of my slow reflexes and me being a slow person

At new places, if I have to look for and drive…I become extremely slow sometimes and tenses me, seem to constrict my vision too when tensed…while during normal day to day drive, I don’t experience these problems

I want to become a confident driver to overcome these fears. Fears will be there. I just want to acknowledge them and surpass them. I now believe that it is a matter of mind/awareness control, and training my awareness to keep the cool and control in the face of newness and anxiety.

I searched online for helpful resources, and I watched this youtube on, Overcoming the Fear of Driving

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=82&v=Vrv8z62irYM&feature=emb_logo

It’s a very nice video, and I was happy to watch it and to know that my fears are not unusual, but are faced by many. This video too ascertained me that, fears will be there. But I as driver will stay cool and in control, do what I fear and surpass the fears.

I recalled what my son said on our way to Dallas, “Mom perhaps going to driving classes would help you.” I keep talking out to my son sometimes when I experience these fears while passing through trucks, driving on restricted roads, flyovers, under bridges, and when someone is waiting behind me and I am driving at a speed way below the speed limits, I keep talking out to the person behind “hey, am sorry buddy for being so slow. Excuse me….” and then thanking them as they are kind enough to give me my space and time…

I pondered on my son’s suggestion to take driving lessons to build my confidence with driving. Driving instructors are the best to watch my driving and offer me any suggestions that would help overcome my fears. Isn’t it? Thought taking few lessons from a confident instructor would help me.

I called a driving school and shared all that I had on my mind, and if they could help me. Signed up for a 2-hour driving lesson. I emailed all the above to the driving school and asked the receptionist Marla, to share with the instructor who would be teaching me. She said she did.

There arrived my time for the driving lesson! I am excited about the opportunity and what I would learn. Since I am doing this after more than 20 years, am bit overwhelmed too of how it would go.

Instructor Joey drove me on to a local road. He started a conversation asking me about my fears. When passing through windy road and up hills, he asked if I am fearful. I wasn’t really afraid. He then parked at a pretty open parking lot close to the river. Then he let me take over the driver’s seat and do certain stuff as he gave instructions and watched…

How I handle car

Adjusting the seat, mirrors, hand-break…

Asked me to do rounds with full circles. This was the first time I did so and felt as if I am playing on the real car as if I go on bumper car rides!!

Then Joey, the instructor made me to get on to a local road, and lead me with his instructions to

do lane changes

pass through speed bumps

take turns

take an around about

up and down a windy, hilly road

Came back to a parking lot and he lead me to

Park in and out of several parking slots

He kept encouraging that I am doing pretty well with everything

except that I am getting slow down before turns or when he is giving me instruction to change lanes…

I think the slowing down with lane changes is not something I normally do, but in this case was an exception as I had to pay attention to Joey’s instruction and then respond to it

But slowing down with gentle break before turns and speed bumps is something I wasn’t aware earlier.

Joey taught me that my foot should be off of both accelerator and brake pedal when I pass through speed bumps, and no need to slow down that much or that longer while making turns.

I kept asking how my posture, seating position, my hands placement is…

how am I doing with parking

finally, in general with everything

and what he has to offer me to overcome my fears and drive confidently and joyfully

He said, “just driving through more of your fearful scenarios, will develop comfort, and helps you to get over your fears.” He added, “know that you are the controller, and you will do just fine!”

Taking this lesson from a driving instructor did indeed help me to feel more confident!!

At least in thoughts and mind, I am feeling more at ease and confident, and am venturing driving to new places with a “bring it on!” attitude rather than with uncertainty.

Uncertainty –> Bring it on, isn’t it a big positive shift?